The Feast of Saint Valentine Edition
READ THIS NOW, IT’S ABSOLUTELY FREE!! FROM GRAHAM, ISHAAN, AND PHIL (GIP)
Okay, Look.
We switched over to Substack from Mailchimp. Everyone’s doing it, and there’s a vague hope that this might lead to more writing. We hope that’s okay. If not, please email us @ dumbmediacompany@gmail.com, and we’ll do something about it. Anyway, it’s Valentine's Day, and GIP is collectively single, so we’re going to share some thoughts on attraction. But before that, remember when we passed around Valentine’s Day cards to all of our elementary school classmates? Wasn’t that lovely? Phil tried to write a story about that, but it didn’t work out, so instead, Ishaan’s going to share some vague, lyrical shit. Who knows what it means?
One Thursday I’ll wake up at 430am to take a train from Grand Central Terminal to some upstate part of New York. And after the two-hour commute and the two-hour hike up the mountain, at 830am, you’ll be there too. Who knows who you are and why you’re there? But, today, we both left Manhattan’s anxious hum, woke up before the market makers, the egg-and-cheese-on-a-roll providers, and the will-give-tickets-to-cars-parked-past-8-am public servants, to summit a rock, touch the clouds, and stare down at tree crowns. We are strangers, you and I. And yet we are here though, right? Perhaps we won’t say a word to each other, but then again, wouldn’t that be ridiculous?
Writing is lonely, so won’t you leave us some comments or send us an email? Why not spread the love and share our noise with your friends? Maybe send some Valentine’s Day cards (To us—not your former 4th-grade classmates).
Sincerely,
Graham, Ishaan, and Phil (GIP)
ATTRACTED by Ishaan Goel
Efren was there to take photos for a fashion shoot. His mentor had told him about the opportunity at 430pm on a Friday, and two hours later, at 630 pm, a mysterious van sped through suburban Dayton streets littered with Dunkin Donuts puke bags and iced coffee cup shells and arrived in front of his townhouse to test him for the virus. After he was cleared, he asked them if they were headed back to Brooklyn and if so, could he just come with them now? He didn’t own a car. But they said no, so the next morning, he rented a Toyota Camry from Hertz to drive for two hours to a warehouse in Brooklyn and participate in one of the most significant breaks of his young artistic life. That’s where he was when Lindsay smacked herself in the face with a walkie talkie.
He was standing next to her when the director yelled silence on the set, and so he said under his breath, “Wait, did that just smack you in the face?”
“No, it didn’t. You didn’t see that,” she mumbled.
“Oh ya, I guess I didn’t see shit.”
damn, that’s pretty smooth, but honestly, if that was me, I would have said…nah, that definitely hit you in the face. Stop lyin… but yours works too. I think the key is just to be playful. By the way, what’s this fashion shoot?
Efren texted me some photos. The first was a black man wearing Nike Air Force 1s, an all-white pair in an astronaut suit. His sleeves were coned, attached to black straps, suggesting that at some point, this man would fly. A broader photo of the set exposed crew in Patagonia and Arc’Teryx black down jackets, nondescript black beanies, and New Balance Minimus Trails aggregated in a concrete gray room pointing at one another.
bro, why is this man in an astronaut costume?
bro, there is so much history and ideas I would need to fill you in on for you to even understand what’s going on here with any acuity.
damn, well is this campaign about space?
no bro. SMH. Look, I just want to talk to you about this girl.
She wore a Westfield backpack. Westfield was a rival of ours from high school running Group 4. Her low top Doc Martens, an all-white pair, flirted with his Nike Space Hippie 04s, an orange swoosh stamped on gray.
“Is that your Westfield backpack? You’re from New Jersey, too?”
“I’m from Jersey, but I went to a boarding school in an upstate part of New York.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Jersey Pride, though.” She never loosened her closed arms, and even though she made lots of eye contact, it was the type that was sharp and pierced your soul instead of embraced it.
“Jersey Pride.”
bro, my attraction level is going up. Plus, she looks like Gwen Stacey from Into the Spiderverse.
Efren sent me a photo of hers from Instagram. Her cheeks were the same pinkish hue that I assumed only existed in animation. She had the same dirty blond hair laced with black, those familiar blue meridian eyes, and even the popped collar of a white button-down shirt blooming underneath her sweater.
damn, she actually looks just like her...what does she do?
she’s the film loader
that’s it? she just changes the rolls
yea bro
you should ask her to load your film
i can’t bro…she doesn’t work in stills…plus I’m shooting Medium Format digital for this. Not film. I wonder if she’s impressed with my Leica S 006 though...
stills?
yeah. There are two parts of this project. I’m shooting still photography on behalf of the fashion teams. There’s a whole separate cinematograph team handling the film. It’s actually more so their project. I’m merely here to freeze time.
oh…I see
At the next break, Efren found her under a stairwell next to her film loading table. She gravitated to unused spaces. He brought her a hand warmer and then chugged down two bottles of Coke in front of her. He noticed a dog tag hung on her neck outside her black sweater.
“What branch of the military did you serve in?” Efren asked.
“The one that shoots the violence.”
“Do you have anything you do for an energy injection?”
“No, I just sulk.”
“I’m addicted to soda.”
“That’s funny. I’ve never had much of a craving for Soda.” She unfolded her arms, and her eyes softened.
“I blame my parents for taking me to McDonald’s as a kid all the time.”
“I wanted to have happy meals as a kid, but my parents would never let me.”
“Honestly, that’s a blessing. I still have a fast-food addiction at 25.”
bro, my parents took me to McDonalds all the time too. All these lower middle-class Asian parents are fucking over a generation of kids for a lifetime.
i honestly just want to tell her that she looks like Gwen Stacey from Into the Spiderverse
imagine you got with her for the intention of just telling her that
what about you?
what about me?
how’s bumble?
i just sent this girl five emojis but she didn’t get it.
what is this 5 emoji stuff?
my bio on bumble…right swipe and I’ll describe you in five emojis.
lol
it’s a fun improv exercise for me tho it’s kinda dumb ppl just go “wow cool” and you don’t have a great pivot
I sent Efren a screenshot of my emojis.
that’s such a Rahul thing…I was able to deduce why you picked those lines. Let me guess. She def is one of those chicks who spends a lot of time in the sun. And is probably into astrology. And may or may not have a photo of her at Joshua Tree National Park. How did I do?
money…think she’s in a sorority.
so, what, are you going to keep talking to her?
yea…she’s hot. the hand warmer thing was smart…I need to bring girls stuff on dates.
lol
so, you break through with her yet?
nah man, but my attraction meter keeps climbing
Later that evening, they moved into a weird-ass house for the second part of the shoot. A photo showed a warm room glazed in red with female black astronauts surrounded by lamps housing naked bulbs. At the next break, Efren discovered her in an empty bedroom.
“So, what do you do,” she said, “I see you shooting BTS and still photography, but what do you actually do?”
“I’m an aspiring director myself. I plan to direct a film about this festival.” He popped out his phone and showed her photos of Filipino men with bloodied backs giving penance for Hampas Dugo.
“That’s really beautiful.”
A pause fluttered in the air, and the first day of a two-day shoot was about to end. Not wanting to linger, Efren began to pack his equipment.
“It was great working with you today,” Efren said.
“Are you not going to be here tomorrow?”
damn, i gotta try that 5 emoji bumble thing...
Cool take on modern romance. I agree with Nishant on both points - such a cliffhanger, and also Jersey Pride 👌